A Few Jokes
Monday, October 12th, 2026
Winnipeg, Manitoba
A friend, Tom, from Windsor, Ontario, sends me these humorous aprosdokians. I thought to share them. I hope you like them.
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
War does not determine who is right — only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
They begin the evening news with “Good Evening,” then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research.
In filling in an application where it says, “In case of emergency notify:” - I put DOCTOR.
I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. Now I’m not sure.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
Finally: I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
MAY THE SOURCE BE WITH YOU
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